6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
