its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
