your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
