areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
