I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
