im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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