New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
