I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
vagina is talking i cant
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Randomize
