it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
