We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
