I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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