I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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