I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
