ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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