i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
