im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
