I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
