SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
