You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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