Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
