i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
