weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
