Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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