Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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