i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
