If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
