I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
