I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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