Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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