The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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