So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
