Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
