I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
