I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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