Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize