I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
