It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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