i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
