I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
