i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
