oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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