Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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