we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
