By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
