And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
