somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
