Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
