kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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