she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
