I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
